From the moment I thought about it, my life's been hard.
Then I accepted it, and it got harder.
Now I'm doing all I can to be who I am, and things are so hard.
I am part of the LGBT, and it's taken me a lot of thinking to figure that out.
I am Bisexual, and I am Trans. This is not a secret.
Some people want to shove me back into a box.
A box of how they see me, what they think I should be like.
I'm not going to fit into that box, it's too small for me now.
In the future I'll probably break my fathers heart, and I want to apologize for hurting him... But I'm not going to stop.
Things have gotten more complicated however. My father has bought a house in Tennessee. I don't know what will happen, or how I'll adjust. I don't know if the area is LGBT friendly, or if they're all a bunch of psycho religious hateful people. I have no Idea, and it terrifies me.
My Dad doesn't accept me, in fact what happened was, I told him and he told me "You're not what you think you are because your life didn't turn out how you thought it would"
He's being a concerned Dad, I kind of get that, but he's doing it wrong.
With our lack of ability to communicate properly everyone's going to get hurt, and I don't know how to stop it.
So things are kinda hard right now......
And even though I don't have much genuine support, I'm not going to go back to being the little girl who hated herself because she didn't know what was wrong with her or why she couldn't understand all the other girls. She was once someone I knew... someone I looked at in the mirror, but I only thought "Why isn't this right?"
I've made so much progress and gained so much confidence, I can't turn back...
I want to die happy, I want to die whole...
So I can't stop here just to please people in my life...
My Name is Ryan, I am Male, and for once in my life, I like myself.